I only just met you.

You had those dead starry eyes.

Eyes that had endured pain in isolation.

I saw the depth of the universe in them.

Eyes that had seen the ugly underbelly of life.

Yet it glowed with the intensity of the sun.

Not because you wanted it to.

It simply had a life of its own.

It simply had a radiance of its own.

I saw the weight of your past in those eyes.

I saw the lifetime of disappointments you never really recovered from.

You had seen it all and couldn't be bothered.

You had seen enough.

You had gotten used to seeing through people that you stopped looking at all.

I guess your heart had been mishandled one too many times.

Your body never forgot how it felt.

You said to me, "Don't hug me like that."

"Like what?", I said.

You never replied.

You didn't need to.

I knew exactly what "that" meant.

"That" meant to keep a distance because it was the only way you knew how to protect yourself.

After all, you only just met me.

Such rationalizations you had.

As if time had ever been a barrier for someone as beautiful and intense as you.

You shroud yourself in an aura of invisibility.

Yet your instinct reactions give away your fears.

Fears of attachment.

Losing control.

Being too human.

You stay hidden behind those eyes.

With your rules of engagement.

Never go too far.

Never dig too deep.

Never get too involved.

And never, ever, show an ounce of need.

You had decided

It wasn’t worth the risk.

You had given up all motivation

To come to the surface…

The girl of my dreams

Forever drowning

In the depths behind those eyes

While claiming to be above it all.