Will the day come when you become disillusioned?

Like Saul, will the scales fall from your eyes?

I see wonders in your eyes when we are together.

I don't know what you see in me.

And I am afraid whatever it is will someday fade away.

What will be left?

Will you realize you have been living in an illusion all this time?

I do not want to get propped up by your words.

Will you realize that you never really saw me?

When you eventually see me, will you like what you see?

I know there are many parts of me.

There are parts riddled with insecurities.

There are parts that make up for those parts.

You look at me with those eyes

What do you really see?

How much do you really see?

I am afraid of becoming attached to you.

My attachment will only prevent me from seeing you as you are

It will make me project my hopes and dreams onto you

My attachment to you will be our demise

On the other hand, my fear of attachment is only making me a shell of myself

I am constantly holding back

I am constantly wondering if I'm too much for you

I am constantly wondering if I'm too little for you

Which way do I go?

Attachment, non-attachment.

All lead to losing you.

You said I like to be in control

But I can feel myself losing control, losing composure

I can feel myself getting drawn to you

I can feel my center of gravity not being able to withstand yours

I realize how this turns out is not in my hands

And that scares me

Because I really like you

And I never like anyone